Lost Ark Aliens, Robots, And Apes Cannot Play Until They Take Over The World

Lost Ark – Aliens, Robots, And Apes Cannot Play Until They Take Over The World, Per TOS

Lost Ark Massively multiplayer online role-playing game

Lost Ark is off to a bit of a rough start. Due to unforeseen technical issues, the game’s launch has been delayed from 9 AM PT (noon ET) to an indeterminate time in the future. Hopefully, that time will be soon, but in the meantime, you can read the Lost Ark terms of service for a wild ride.

Terms of service agreements are pretty standard for MMORPGs, but Lost Ark’s is somewhat more expensive than most. For example, it not only applies to humans but also aliens that take over the Earth and enslave all humankind.

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Aliens, Robots, And Apes Cannot Play Until They Take Over the World

As per section 5.1 of the Lost Ark TOS, “To enter this Agreement and [play Lost Ark], you must be a live human (e.g., not a corporation, organization, artificial intelligence (good or evil), extraterrestrial, sentient non-human primate, etc.). However, this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence of a widespread extraterrestrial, robot, simian, or similar takeover of planet Earth, in which case we welcome our alien, robot, ape, or other overlords, as applicable, (such parties, “Their Eminences”) to play our Games, and Their Eminences will be subject to the terms of this Agreement, mutatis mutandis, commencing on the date of the takeover and continuing for all periods thereafter, until such date as human governance is restored.”

But what if humanity escapes a burning Earth and starts a colony on Mars, you ask? Don’t worry; Lost Ark has thought of that too.

“Provided, further, that in the event the takeover necessitates the forced migration of the human species to Mars or other celestial body, where the Games are not operable at this time, we will use commercially reasonable efforts to (a) expand the locations where the Games are available and wave applicable restrictions under Section 5.2, below, and (b) enable local game servers as promptly as reasonably practicable, subject in each case to the availability of necessary interplanetary logistics, utility, sustainable life support, asteroid deflection systems, local stores of distribution services, and rule of law, as may be provided by our affiliates, our third-party providers, celestial beings, or governmental or non-governmental organizations.”

I can think of no other MMORPG which promises its players to even attempt to restore its services in the unlikely event of an alien invasion ending society and forcing humanity to colonize Mars. That’s a dedication to its customers that totally explains why South Korean fans purchased ad space to thank Lost Ark’s developers.

As for when Lost Ark will actually go live, we still don’t know, but patient fans will at least be gifted 3 days of Crystalline Aura their trouble.


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